Oh Wow! A New Post!
Alright, five months is a long enough hiatus, don’t you think? Granted, I’ve been playing around over at MatthewCory.com, but I think it’s high time I come back to the site that started this whole mess.
A lot’s happened since I made the most recent post here. And I mean a lot. I spoke about a lot of things over at the other site, but here’s a quick run down on the different things that’ve been going on:
As I mentioned here, I finished Shattered, the planned sequel to Like Glass. However, I’m not going to release it. It was something that needed to be written, but doesn’t need to be read. Simple as that.
I’m taking an unofficial leave of absence from the writing world. Not saying I’m never going to write again or whatever, but right now I’m wanting to focus more on my life than trying to escape into the lives of fictional characters. That, and at the moment I’m just too damned busy to write much of anything (hence not updating this blog in several months, nor the other one in quite some time either).
I’m no longer working for Philips Electronics. Just wasn’t working out, and it was (literally) driving me crazy. I’ve since found a position doing development work for a locally-owned insurance company, and it’s an environment that suits me much better. Philips was a great company in their own way; I just didn’t belong there, simple as that.
The place I’m at now is, as I said, a much better fit. They work hard, but they have a laid back attitude about it as well — it’s “real”, if that makes sense. Not uber-professional, but not a bunch of slackers either. Most of the staff has to dress fairly formal — dress shirts and ties for the men, and whatever it is that constitutes business dress for the women. The only exception is the IT/support staff, and that’s mainly due to safety reasons (they still need to do polo shirts and slacks though).
What’s great is watching everyone take their job seriously, but still joking around, talking crap, and having a good time while they’re doing it. It also helps that the predominant language is English there too — I can actually join in the conversations when I want. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with people speaking their native language — I even encourage it in certain situations, as I understand that it’s easier to hash out ideas when you’re not worried about getting the words right. But that was a big drag at Philips: hardly anyone there spoke English regularly (although they all did speak it when they had to), and it was hard to develop that sense of camraderie that I’ve gotten even in just over a month where I’m at now.
Aside from that, life’s moving along same as it ever has, just (and mostly because of the new job) much more smoothly. Hopefully, now that things are levelling off somewhat, I’ll be keeping up with this thing a bit more frequently.
For now though, I’m going to go back to surfing the web and chain smoking 
–Matt
Like Glass No Longer a VHP Title
The title pretty much says it all; officially, as of today, Like Glass will not be published by Vanilla Heart Publishing. I will continue to distribute it via the current channels (i.e. Amazon and CreateSpace) at least until the first of the year, though I’m unsure whether I will continue to pursue it after that.
I’m at work right now, so I can’t really discuss the subject too much; suffice to say that it’s better for all parties involved that the novel finds a different home.
I would like to sincerely offer my thanks and gratitude to Kimberlee Williams, the editor at VHP, for the time and effort she and her staff put into what work had already been done on the novel, and for putting up with a rather tedious client. I’d also like to once again thank Mary Quast, the author who introduced me to VHP in the first place; even though it didn’t work out, it was still a wonderful experience that I wouldn’t have had without your assistance.
Okay, back to the rat race.
–Matt
Podcast: Free Short Stories
Why you might want to consider giving some of your short stories away for free…
Free Short Stories (~6:30)
Also, the link to J. Kaye’s Book Blog, where Like Glass is the subject of their noontime chat today, is http://j-kaye-book-blog.blogspot.com/. Stop by and check it out!
Choices and Dreams
Had kind of an interesting day at work today. Well, the last half of it was interesting; the first half bored me to tears.
First, we had an office party. We have them pretty much every month, to celebrate the birthdays for that month — it’s pretty cool. If nothing else, it’s an excuse to get away from the monitors for a little while.
This time though, they were celebrating because, aside from the birthdays, we just had our big trade show — RSNA — and our product was a big hit. I sat out most of the fireworks leading up to the trade show for personal reasons, so I kinda kept my distance throughout. Didn’t really feel like it was my thing, you know? Honestly, it felt kinda sad, watching every one else celebrate and feeling (entirely of my own volition, I assure you) a little left out.
Anyways, after that, my manager calls me in to talk to me. He’s been wanting to talk to me ever since I returned, so I was curious as to what exactly it was about. Basically, it was an “are-you-sure-you-can-do-this-job-we-need-you-to-be-focused” kinda talk. After that, I started feeling a little more in the game, you know? I mean, I wasn’t chomping at the bit to get working or anything, but it got me going a little.
See, both of these are related in my mind. The party was kinda something I always wanted to be a part of. I always wanted to be the corporate kinda guy, where you do trade shows and you work long hours and everything. Then you celebrate with the staff on a job well done. The lecture, well, I never really expected to have such a talk. I always expected myself to be on top of the game, if that makes sense.
And I know I could be. This’ll probably sound pretty damned arrogant, but I know I could be a damned good coder there if I wanted to give the effort.
The problem arises in my writing. I want to give my effort to that. I want to devote my time and energy to working on characters and plot sketches and stuff like that. I don’t want to be the corporate kinda guy anymore. I don’t really care about getting an office or anything like that anymore; I’ve … well … honestly I gave up on that dream, because it just didn’t seem realistic, knowing myself the way I do.
And the time that I’ve spent in the past couple of months pursuing the writing gig, well, that was wonderful. That felt real. That felt like I was being authentic, being honest with myself, instead of trying to be something I’m not. It was hard work, but it was effortless and honest hard work.
So where do I go? Love or money, the eternal question… Not that I really need to be asking it right now anyways. The answer is pretty obvious at the moment: there’s too many bills that need to be paid, and I’m not making a dime at the pen yet. But still, now I’m in a position to get/have a dream I used to have, when it’s no longer the dream I want.
What would you do, in that situation? Pursue the old dream, because it’s pretty much already there? Or would you puruse the dream you have at the moment? I always hear people talk about “always follow your dreams”, but I can’t say I’ve ever heard any advice on what to do when your dreams change…
Anyways, it’s bedtime, so I’ll catch you on the flip side.
–Matt
Day Job and A Little About Shattered
In the past few weeks, I was lucky enough to spend some time pretending to be a “full-time” writer: get up, write for a while, try to take a nap, try to arrange marketing, try to take a nap, write for a while, so on and so forth. It was pretty damned nice, but, as with everything that’s enjoyable, it had to end, and I’m back to the day job now.
Well, temporarily, at least I’m still hoping that the re-release of Like Glass and the release of Shattered will change that (hoping, not expecting). So, I’m considering it “long-term temporary” for now.
Speaking of Shattered, I’m still waiting to hear back from my early reviewers on that one. Trust me, as soon as I have something to post about what they say, you’ll hear it (well, read it). I guess that it’s about the right time to tell you more about it, since the story line itself probably isn’t going to change much in whatever drafts are left to work on.
If you don’t already know, Shattered is the sequel to Like Glass, and it picks up the story of our “hero”, Rob, a few months after Like Glass ends. Without going into too many details (because they’d not only spoil Shattered, but possibly Like Glass as well), Rob takes back to music with much more passion this time around. Things don’t go that great though, as he’s forced to deal with fun stuff like depression, suicide, and the death of a close friend.
Remember, if I’ve said nothing else about the book, I’ve said it’s supposed to be darker than Like Glass…
Anyways, I need to start getting ready for the grind again. Make sure to pick up your copy of Like Glass, now with a 20% discount throughout the end of the year, when the first edition will not be available anymore. Catch you on the flip side.
–Matt
Death of Civilization
Wikipedia will be the death of civilization. I firmly believe that now. Seriously, it’s like a drug, and I haven’t seen any rehab clinics for it yet. Hopefully they’ll come out soon; lord knows I need it.
“Hello, my name is Matthew, and I’m a Wikiholic. I’ve been Wiki-free for two hours now.”
“Hello, Matthew. We feel your pain.”
I mean, don’t get me wrong. It’s a great service, a great website. But damn, it’s addictive. Sitting there at the computer, saying “One more article,” with the same look on your face that a crack addict gets when their pipe’s running low. That’s the only difference — crack runs out eventually; Wikipedia doesn’t. And, if it does, it’s a lot easier to make your own Wikipedia article than your own crack.
Not that I’ve … uh … tried making either, or anything…
You’ve never realized how important stupid, pointless information seems until you’ve started reading a Wikipedia article on something interesting. With all due respect to the people of the nation, I never really cared much of a flip for Zimbabwe, outside of what was needed in geography class. Yesterday, I started reading Wiki’s article on the 2008 cholera outbreak (because I was bored and it was better than work), when suddenly Zimbabwe became the most interesting thing I’ve ever read about.
Of course, it’s physically impossible to read more than two paragraphs in a Wikipedia article without going on to a different article (with big thanks to who ever developed tabbed-browsing). Two clicks later and I’m reading about coffee instead of Zimbabwe. Two more clicks, and it’s John Gill, an English biblical scholar in the 1700’s. Then megachurches, then hymns, then the Greek language.
It’s better than the Kevin Bacon game…
So, if you’re ever wondering why it’s taking so long to get my next project out, just drop me a line and ask me about the History of Ancient Tunisia, or about the mating habits of the katydid. When I respond, just tell me to get back to work
–Matt
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Like Glass First Edition — Limited Time Offer!!!
Okay everyone, from now until January 1st 2009, we’re running a special offer on the last Like Glass first editions! Go here for details on how to get 20% off today!
Drawing to a Close…
Well, today’s my last day of freedom before I go back to the grind again tomorrow. I’m not exactly looking forward to it, but what can you do? This little break has been … interesting. I started it as a software developer with one novel under my belt, and I’m ending it as a published author with two finished novels under his belt. Well, I’m not technically published until next Spring, and the second “finished” novel is undergoing reviews, but you know what I mean.
I’ve come a long way in two months. And I’ve learned one important thing about myself that I only assumed before I went on this little journey: I am a writer. This is me, for better or worse. I may not be the world’s best wrier, but this is the life I need to have.
So, there’s the question: how do I get there? And, to put a fine point on it, how do I get there using my own strengths and weaknesses? I mean, I’m terrible at multi-tasking careers, or else Shattered would’ve been written a while ago. Can I find it in myself to bring out the next book while I’m maintaining a day job?
Hell, on top of the day job, I’ll also be trying to do my own part to bolster the publisher’s marketing efforts on Like Glass. And I’m still not sure if I want to work on the same story line again for a little while. Rob’s got two stories finished now. Maybe it’s time to give him a bit of a break and see what else needs to be told.
Now I’ll get to try and develop another character. Rob was pretty easy to do — he’s a lot like me, as I’m sure I’ve said somewhere. That’ll be the real challenge: developing a new character who isn’t like me. Someone entirely different, with different goals and hopes and dreams and fears.
Kinda scary…. Exciting, but scary.
Anyways, as I said at the start, I’m not looking forward to giving up the lifestyle I’ve had for the past two months to go back to the rat race. It’s been extremely trying, but fun as hell — trying to set up marketing stuff, trying to write, trying to get published, so on and so forth. I feel like I’ve accomplished a lot, but I also still feel kinda like I failed — I’m going back to work, aren’t I?
Eh, never mind — I’m listening to a “slow” Slipknot song and getting all sentimental and crap. Never mind me
A Stranger
A strange man came into my bar last night. He was old, probably late sixties or early seventies. I didn’t see any lights pulling into the parking lot, so I guessed he’d been walking. That’s not unusual; we get a lot of folks from the nearby apartments walking in, wanting to hedge their bets against the cops. The story he told though, now that was unusual. I’m getting a little ahead of myself though.
The bar was empty both before and after he came in. We’re not exactly a booming place here in El Paso anyways, but this close to the holidays we’re pretty much always dead – everyone wants to save their money for presents, not spend it on beer.
I heard the door jingle – the stupid little decorations the bartenders put up when I’m not around – and looked up to see this old man walk in, covered in jackets and looking like he’d never met a razor before in his life. My first thought, of course, was that he was a bum; we get a few of those around every once in a while, and I’m more than willing to buy them a beer or two for doing odd jobs around the place.
Something about him told me that he was different though. Maybe it was the way that he walked, or something in his eyes, but he wasn’t a regular, run-of-the-mill bum. He sat down at the bar and I walked over to him.
“What can I get you?” I asked as I finished drying the glass I’d been washing.
His accent was strange; not quite British, definitely not American, but it was clear enough to where I could tell he’d at least grown up speaking English.
“I’ll have a … oh, what do you people call it … oh, that’s right. I’ll have a ‘beer’.” His voice was pleasant, happy, not the near-bitter tone that most of our patrons have. I gave him his beer, and he paid me from a large wad of bills that I wouldn’t have expected given his appearance. He put a twenty in the tip jar, and sipped his beer with a sigh of relief.
I went back to my cleaning, letting him drink in peace while I washed glasses and mopped behind the bar. It was mostly busy work; there wasn’t much to clean up, since there hadn’t been any customers earlier in the day or the night before. He called me over for another beer, and I poured it for him. This time, when he offered to pay, I waved him off.
“Don’t worry about it. This one’s on the house,” I told him, and he smiled. He paused for a moment, as if trying to find the right words, and then his expression brightened.
“That’s right,” he said, “‘Thank you’. I knew I’d remember.”
I wiped the bar off to one side of him – again, just busy work. “So, where you from?” I asked. It was obvious that he wasn’t from here, or from any country I could guess. That didn’t mean much; around here, the only two languages I ever heard were English and Spanish, and it’s not like I’ve toured the world or anything.
He smiled, a warm, knowing smile, and sipped from his mug before he spoke again. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” he said, and something in his voice made me think he was right.
“Well,” I said, setting my rag down on a shelf behind the bar. “Try me. I hear a lot of crazy stories in this place; I’m sure one more won’t hurt.”
He laughed. “No, no. I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt. But…”
I laughed a little. Truth was I was dead bored, and he could’ve told me he was from the moon and I would’ve probably listened intently. “Well, try me anyways,” I repeated. He sighed, and was silent long enough that I almost thought he’d fallen asleep. Eventually, though, he looked up, a smile still lighting his face and an intensity in his eyes that almost scared me.
“I am,” he began, “a refugee, as your people would call it.” Great, I thought. We’re going to have immigration beating down the door now. I almost kicked him out right then, but he raised his hand before I could say anything.
“Not quite the right word, but close enough,” he said, and I relaxed a little bit. At least I could hear him out.
“I come from a place that isn’t unlike this one, or, at least, it used to be quite similar. Better, actually, but I won’t get into that. It … it doesn’t matter any more anyways.” He said this last part with a distant hurt, and was silent again for a brief moment before continuing.
“My ‘country’,” he said, with the same excitement he’d had earlier over finding the right words, “is currently in the middle of a … ‘revolution’, I believe you call it. I have been lucky enough to … escape. To find my way to your land, one I’d heard of many times but only recently truly believed existed. I must say, I’m quite pleased I made it, too. This place is … nice.”
“You obviously haven’t been here very long,” I said. He laughed.
“No, not long at all. Only a few … ‘hours’,” he said.
I didn’t know what to make of his story. I’ve never paid much attention to the news, so I didn’t know what countries were fighting at the moment. There was something about him that sounded reliable though (and yes, that’s gotten me into trouble before, too), and I figured I’d at least give him the benefit of the doubt. I was going to ask him some questions, but he continued before I could start.
“The place I come from is … scarred, you could say. I’ve come here seeking refuge, to finish out my life in what peace I may be able to find.” He took a sip from his beer, and a look of surprised anguish came over his face. I almost laughed; it was terribly melodramatic, but he took me by the arm with a grip that seemed unnaturally strong for such an old man.
“They’re coming,” he gasped. I stifled a laugh; it was like something out of a bad movie, but the fear in his eyes could only have been real. He stood up and threw a wad of bills on the counter.
“Tell no one I was here,” he said, his voice strained. Before I could say anything, he walked out the door.
I looked at the money he left on the counter – at least two hundred dollars, just from what I could tell at a quick glance. I had to catch him; I could keep my mouth shut for free, he didn’t need to give me a month’s worth of profits for that, especially this close to Christmas.
Even as fast as I ran out the door though, he was gone. I looked up and down the street, and couldn’t see him anywhere. I even ran up to one corner, didn’t see him down that street, and ran back to the other corner. Nothing.
I went back inside and counted the money, which I’d foolishly left on the counter. Thankfully no one had come in during my search, as he’d left a total of three hundred, forty-five dollars to pay for a two-dollar mug of beer. Nice tip…
Roughly a minute after I’d put the cash in my pocket (there was no way I was letting that much money slip into the tax man’s hands), two GI’s came in. They were dressed in civilian clothes, but this is a military town as much as it’s a border town; you can spot a military man a mile away once you’ve been here for a while. They both sat down at the bar and ordered a soda each.
They didn’t say much to me, but they eyed the place much more carefully than a normal customer would. One went to the restroom as soon as I set their drinks down; he returned a few moments later looking a little strange. Disappointed? Relieved? I couldn’t tell.
I couldn’t really get anything from their conversation, either. They talked about Iraq, about UTEP’s football team, about the Dallas Cowboys. It was a little forced, like they were putting up a front, but it was also well practiced. Had I not had such a strange visitor earlier in the night, I probably wouldn’t even have noticed. As it was though, my nerves were a little on edge, and I probably paid them more attention than necessary.
They didn’t stay but for the one soda, and left me a two dollar tip. When they were leaving, though, I heard – maybe just my imagination, I won’t deny it – one of them whisper “Not here; he’s probably back already.” Then he grunted something, and they got into their car (a plain civilian make) and took off.
Never saw the GI’s or that stranger again.
I did hear on the news later that night about a homeless man they’d found dead on a park bench downtown though, and it made me think of him. Hope it wasn’t; he seemed like a decent guy. Maybe a little too loose with his cash, but I ain’t complaining.
Want to find out what happens next? Go to http://matthewcory.com/2008/12/13/the-note/.
Like Glass Logo Wear Up
Quick post here — you can get official Like Glass merchandise now! Go to http://www.cafepress.com/LikeGlass and check it out — t-shirts, mugs, all sorts of cool stuff.
Here’s some of what you’ll find:
(I’m going to get the coffee mug, myself — Cafe Press’s image generator doesn’t seem to do it justice though, or else I’d post it here…)
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