First Interview is Up!!!
Just wanted to drop a line and let everyone know that my first (!!!) interview is now live at http://booksbypickles.blogspot.com/2008/10/interview-with-matthew-cory.html. Make sure you stop by — post a comment or a question and be entered for a chance to win a free copy of Like Glass!Coming Soon: Author Interviews and Guest Posts
Just wanted to drop a quick line here (I do that a lot, don’t I?) and let you know about some stuff coming up that I’m a little excited about.I’m still trying to work the kinks out, so I don’t have an official date yet, but sometime in the next couple of weeks we’ll be having interviews with authors, and probably some guest posts by them as well.
Don’t worry — I’ll let you know the details when they come up ;)
Aside from that, Like Glass is still making the rounds on the reviewer circuit, and we should have at least one more review for you to check out within a week or two. So stay tuned — who knows what tomorrow shall bring!
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Virtual Tour Update
Just wanted to drop everyone a quick line. I’m currently trying to manage a “virtual tour”, and here’s where things are happening so far:10/29/08: Cafe of Dreams — Guest Post, “A Matter of Perspective“
– This is live now, so check it out!
10/31/08: Book Talk with J & J — Interview, up at 5:00 PM (Pacific? I’ll find out and update it here…) throughout the weekend.
– Mark your calendars!!!
And, if you have a website and you’d like me to do a guest post or interview, or you’d like to review Like Glass, please don’t hesitate to contact me. Also, if you’re an author interested in doing any of those on this site, go ahead and let me know (use the same link). “See” you there!
Update: Starting Over with Shattered
It’s been a while since I posted anything on Shattered, and with good reason — there hasn’t been anything to post. The book kinda died on me. It just wasn’t going anywhere — the direction I wanted it to go, nor did it choose it’s own direction. It just kinda stalled out, and I wasn’t able to revive it.However, all is not lost. I’m restarting it from scratch, and I’m going about it differently this time. I probably won’t post as many status updates as I did before, because I’m a bit superstitious on that and I think those killed it (it’s a bit hard to explain why; just accept it as reasonable in my mind for now). I’m also trying to plot it out more than the last attempt, so hopefully this one will be better organized.
I’m also probably not going to be moving quite as fast, either. I want to take my time with this one and get it right (well, as right as a rough draft can be). The past attempt was just writing from the seat of my pants — almost free writing, actually — with very little … hmmm … impression? of what each scene was supposed to be like. If you’re a writer, I’m sure you know what I mean: those times when you’re just dead to the world because you’re so involved in the scene? Yeah, I didn’t have that many of those in the last go-round, and I’m going to try and keep what writing I do without being in the zone down to a bare minimum.
So, that’s what’s going on with Shattered.
Like Glass, on the other hand, is starting to get some killer reviews in. You can read all of them at Amazon.com, or go to the CFD home page here to read some snippets and get links to the originals (seriously, the originals are on some book blogs you should really check out). It’s garnered about 3.5 stars at Amazon so far — two 4-star reviews and one 3-star (Amazon’s rating system shows 3.5 to my eyes), which is much higher than I ever let myself expect. Special thanks to those who have reviewed it so far, and those who haven’t: what’s the hold up?! (Just kidding — take your time).
Anyways, need to run. Make sure to get your questions in for the mailbag for your chance to win a free digital copy of Like Glass — remember, it’s rated at 3.5 stars now!
Another Review of Like Glass Up!
Be sure to stop over by Lover of Books to check out the latest review for Like Glass (go straight to the review here)! Thanks for the great review!If I may once again be so bold as to steal a quote:
For a first novel, there is depth, emotion, and a story to tell whether in the past or the present. Janet, Lisa, and Rob have to deal with the now. The brother he knew seems to be such a good guy. Things are changing all the time and Rob has to figure out how to keep up. Mr. Cory keeps things light at times but there is healing that needs to be done.
Podcast: I’ll Get Around To It
Got another podcast up for your listening pleasure. This time we explore procrastination and stalling, and we have our first “Question of the Week” winner — thanks, Javier, and let me know if you have any problems with your eBook.Everyone else: send in your questions via the contact page, and if it’s selected as the “Question of the Week”, you’ll get a free digital copy of Like Glass. Get those questions in!
I’ll Get Around To It (10:34, 9.67MB)
No Podcast This Week
Just wanted to make a quick post — there probably won’t be a podcast today. It’s been a really, really hectic week, and next week is looking similar. I’m also having a bit of trouble coming up with something that isn’t related to depression or mental health — I don’t want to dwell on that stuff too much; I’d like to come up with something everyone can enjoy and that may not have any socially redeeming qualities.Anyways, keep sending in the questions for the mailbag; I apologize to those who sent their questions in this past week — I’ll get to your questions as soon as I can.
Thanks for listening!
Guest Post: Case Study by Tim Desmond
October 24, 2008 · Posted in Guest Posts · Comment
Continuing the series on depression, I’m proud to offer the first Chocolate for Dogs guest post: a case study of a depressed individual given by Tim Desmond. It’s really interesting reading, and I hope you enjoy it.Tim Desmond offers phone counseling and training for therapists through his website, www.coherencecounseling.com
Self esteem, self acceptance and a sense of self-worth are vital to feeling happy. When we lose the sense that we are worthy or loveable, it is easy to become depressed. The following is an example of a depressed client finding that her depression had been rooted in both seeing herself as worthless, and in wanting to avoid engaging with the world. Through having a deep experience of her hidden purposes for being depressed, they are no longer compelling and she quickly recovers.
Mary, a social worker from Portland, OR, had been unable to work for three months prior to calling me because of severe depression. In our first session she shared about her strongly negative self-talk. She had a powerful inner-critic and try as she might, she had been unable to stop thinking this way.
I wondered why her self-talk was so unkind, so I asked her to imagine what it would be like to really know that she was a good person and deserved love. She tried, but could not even imagine what it would be like. She said, “I just can’t go there. It’s just not real.” I sat with her for a minute or so just connecting with what it must be like to be unable to even imagine seeing yourself as a good person. Then I asked her to try saying, “I am unwilling to even imagine seeing myself as a good person because…” and to finish that sentence without pre-thinking the ending.
Just then, she told me that she had a flash of what she was like in high school. She said that she was miserable at home with her verbally abusive parents, but that as soon as she arrived at school, she was happy and filled with confidence. I wondered why and asked how she made sense of the difference. She told me that she was getting excellent grades in high school and the editor of her year book. She said it was the only time in her life she had felt confident, and that her confidence had lead to having lots of friends. When I asked when it went away, she said that she had always felt horrible at home. She told me that when she went to college, she visited a counselor to try to work out some of her issues with her family and that he had put her on a serious psychiatric drug. She had very bad side effects from it and was no longer able to excel in her classes, which had a strong impact on her confidence. We paused for a while to grieve that terrible mistake.
I then brought us back to her purpose in calling me — relieving her depression. I asked her to remember what is was like to arrive at high school and go from feeling depressed to confident. I asked her to try to picture herself just as the change was happening in the morning and waited for her to do so. When she was there, I asked her to say, “The thing that’s different now is…” and to finish that sentence. She said, “The difference here is that people think I’m special.” and started to cry. At this point, I felt like I was beginning to understand. It seemed to me that when people were treating her like she was special, she felt good about herself, and when they were not she felt bad. I wondered if that was still true.
I asked to try imagining herself in high school and saying, “When I feel bad about myself, it is because people are treating me like I don’t matter. When I feel good, it is because they are treating me like I’m special.” When she repeated those sentences, she said they felt powerfully true. I asked her to try saying them again as her adult self. She did and cried more, realizing how rarely people ever treat her like she is special any more. With just a few minutes left, I asked her to write down those sentences and spend at least five minutes with them twice a day. When scheduled our next session for three weeks later to give her time to process what we had uncovered.
At the beginning of our next session, Mary told me she was feeling much better than she had in a long time, but she was very adamant that she was not entirely better. She said that she was now able to make sense out of her low self esteem, and that it no longer felt like something that was intrinsic to who she was. She said that her depression was much better but that it was definitely still there.
That made sense to me, because I still didn’t understand exactly why she would feel bad about herself when other people were uncaring to her, as opposed to getting angry, trying to please them, or any of the other possible responses people have. I find that it is important to discover the sense to all of these questions for the deepest kind of change to happen.
I asked her to imagine herself when she would first become depressed, and I asked how old she was. She was seven, and I asked Mary if she could try to become that little girl for a while so I could talk to her. When she was ready I said hello and asked the little girl if she gets depressed. She said she does because her mom is really mean and calls her names. I told her I was sorry that her mom did that. Then I asked if she knows grown-up Mary, and she said she did. I asked her to tell grown-up Mary what she should do when people are mean to her. She said, “What should she do when people are being mean to her?” and fell silent for a few moments. She said, “If you get depressed, you don’t have to do anything.” and paused a long time. She continued, “If you get depressed, you can just sit around and you don’t have to do anything.” Judging by her tone of voice and the long drawn out pauses, I knew that she was in a deep place and I let her have as much time there as she needed. We spend the rest of the session saying those sentences and letting them feel true. When we ended, she thought she would need a month to process what had happened. However, she called a few days prior to her appointment and cancelled saying that she had fully recovered and was working again.
Mary had two distinct purposes for being depressed, and each of them only needed to be partially discovered in order to change. First, she learned that she felt bad about herself not because she was a defective person, but that she felt that way when people were being unkind to her. Her purpose for seeing herself as deserving the treatment she got could have been to avoid abandonment, feel like the world is a place with justice, or any number of others. However, when she realized that it changed depending on how she was being treated, she realized that it did not mean she was inherently defective, and it no longer felt as true. Second, she realized that being depressed had always been a way to avoid “having to do anything.” I’m not sure if her depression had served as safe hiding place or a way to get people to do things for her, but when she experienced it as something she did for a purpose, it was no longer something out of her control.
First Review for Like Glass Is In!!!
Just wanted to post a quick note here: the Book Escape has just posted a review for Like Glass. Make sure you stop by and check it out: http://nbbaker1102.wordpress.com/2008/10/23/like-glass/!Thanks Nicole!
If I may be so bold as to steal a quote:
Overall, this is a love story. But, it doesn’t follow the typical love story formula. There are many twists and turns and it is quite intense, at times. The characters do some surprising things and that doesn’t stop until the conclusion.
Mysterious Curiousity
October 23, 2008 · Posted in General · 2 Comments
I was speaking with some friends of mine yesterday, and one of them related a rather terrible experience they went through as a child. It’s not my place to tell his story here; suffice to say it isn’t something any kid should have to go through.As often does when a situation such as his arises, an eternal question came up: “Why does God let this stuff happen?” It’s a fair question, if you’re brought up with the standard Judeo-Christian belief that God is a) all-powerful, and 2) essentially good. Why would a good and all-powerful diety let bad stuff happen? If He truly loves us, as the Bible says He does, then why does He cause us so much pain?
There’s as many answers to that question as there are people in this world. We all ask it at some time or another, and we all come up with our own reason why He does stuff that hurts us. It may be anything from “He’s testing you,” to “He simply doesn’t exist.”
The best answer I’ve found to that question came from (of all people) Tim Allen. Yes, the Toolman, everyone’s favorite Mr. Break It from TV’s Home Improvement. His book, I’m Not Really Here, talk a lot about quantum mechanics (from a layman’s perspective — you don’t need a PhD to make sense of it) and eastern religions, and it’s a damned good read — I highly recommend it to anyone who has even a passing interest in stuff like that.
In the book, he states that one eastern religion — Zen Buddhism, I believe, though don’t hold me to that — believes that God is everything; everything is a manifestation of God. I’m God, you’re God, the chair you’re sitting in is God, the computer you’re reading this on is God. Well, a manifestation of God — we aren’t literally “God” (though I know plenty of people who certainly think they are, or the next best thing at least). That’s why zen teachings focus on “being one with the universe,” because you’re trying to open up the doors you’ve put in place to “hide” God.
Well, this form of God is a curious sort. He wants to experience everything, and I mean absolutely everything. He wants to know what it’s like to be your butt in the chair; He wants to know what it’s like to have your butt sitting on Him. He wants to know what it’s like to type a URL into a web browser and what it’s like to have fingers typing a URL on him.
Likewise, He wants to know what it’s like to suffer, and He wants to know what it’s like to cause suffering. Not the way we like to think of Him, I know, but that’s a belief that’s out there. Of course, you can still ask “Well, why does He want to know that?” To that, unfortunately, I can only go to the standard throw back answer: He’s God; we can’t understand His reasons. I’m sure wiser people than I could answer it better; I’m still only on my second cup of coffee though.
It doesn’t make things better, I know that. It’s not like “Oh, well, God wants to know what it’s like to have his child die, so that’s okay.” But it can lead to understanding, at least, and a bit better of an answer than “Just because.” Understanding always helps out with a problem; it may not fix it, but it can ease the pain just a little.
Speaking of not knowing how God works, I’d like to leave you with a “joke” I received in my email one day, that I feel is quite relevant.
During a recent storm, an old, devoutly religious man was riding the storm out. An evacuation team came by, and one of the members asked the old man to come with them. “Sir, come with us, we’ll take you somewhere that you’ll be safe.”
”No thank you,” the old man said, “God will keep me safe.”
Later, the old man was standing on his roof as the flood waters rose. A man in a boat paddled up and said “Here, get in, I’ll take you to safety.”
The old man replied “Thank you, but God will save me.” No matter what the man in the boat said, the old man refused to go with him, saying that God would save him.
Time passed and the flood waters still rose, to where the old man was perched on the very peak of the roof. A Coast Guard helicopter came by, and a member of the crew came down on a rope and told the old man “Here, come with me, I’ll take you to the shelter.”
”Thank you, but God will save me.”
Still the flood waters rose, and the man lost his perch on the roof, was swept away, and drowned. When he arrived in Heaven, he went to speak to God. “God,” he said, “I followed your teachings my whole life. I went to church every Sunday, never said a bad word of anyone, never hurt anyone when I could help it. Why didnt you save me?”
God replied: “What are you talking about? I sent an evacuation team, a boat, and a helicopter to you.”
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